One thing that all of us who have MBC share are the dreaded three month scans. We get them every 3 months for the rest of our lives because we are in treatment for the rest of our lives. These scans are necessary to keep a close watch on the Cancer and make sure we are always one step ahead. But, there is always that underlying fear that this scan will be THE scan that changes everything, that the Cancer will be back and active and on the move. So yes, this is what we call "Scanxiety"... and it is real and stressful. Today I am smiling and feeling grateful that I got a really good report back on my first 3 month scan since my initial diagnosis this past June 2015. Grateful but also very aware that as I celebrate my temporary reprieve from Cancer, there are thousands of other women who right now cannot celebrate because maybe their news isn't so uplifting. As I sit here thankful that my medications are temporarily working it still doesn't change the fact that in 3 short months it could all change, or maybe in 6 months... it is never ending. It is the one thing that you can count on, one day it will not be your day to celebrate. So, how do we cope? It's easy... we live one day at a time!
What am I learning through this experience? Well, that each and every day we are allowed a reprieve from this disease it is an opportunity to celebrate. Because life is special every day, not just on the days we choose to celebrate. Living in the moment is much harder than people realize. It is human nature for us to always look ahead to the future, save things for a rainy day, and to put off until tomorrow what we could be doing today. But, I am learning the hard way that today is the day to live... not tomorrow, not next week, not next year. At the end of the day we are ALL terminal... we've been terminal since the day we were born. I have decided not to waste a single moment of my life from this point further on things that don't matter. And you would be surprised how quickly you eradicate the crazy meaningless things out of your life when you are given a terminal diagnosis. All of a sudden you see the world differently, you value things differently, and you come to understand what means the most to you. For me it's the blessing of true friendship, knowing how much I am loved and learning to allow these relationships to come to front of the line in things that matter most. It is the love we share and receive that we take with us on our journey through life and beyond. It is love that carries us through our toughest struggles. To know you are loved and valued feeds a persons soul and gives them strength and courage. I am blessed to have these kind of people in my life and no... I will never ever take that for granted.
The one thing that I hope people take away from my experience with Cancer is to not take for granted your health and the people you love most. Make sure they know it and definitely make sure you SHOW it... I think we get so busy being busy nowadays that we forget to stop and take notice or to let others know how much they are valued.
So, get out there and live your life to the fullest... do it for me, do it for yourself... but most of all... do it for the people you love.
Awesome read!! And so beyond happy for your great news today😄😄😄
ReplyDeleteI am very happy too!
DeleteVery motivational post. I love you much more than I can express for the mother you have been to me. I do not plan on wasting a day, or a single moment with my Kat when she returns home.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bahnan... I love how much you love our girl... :)
DeleteThank you for your honest emotional post. The way that you express yourself is so inspirational and uplifting. I will keep praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bettie... :) Yes, keep those prayers coming!
DeleteSo inspiring. I continue to hope and pray that every three months will bring a good report. Thank you for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Juliette! We are hoping for the same... :)
DeleteYou said: "I think we get so busy being busy nowadays that we forget to stop and take notice or to let others know how much they are valued."
ReplyDeleteThis. This. This! I have a tendency to live in my own head too much. It's hard to take note when you get so wrapped up in your own problems that you forget the rest of the world is going through their own issues as well. So I try to give myself a slap every now and then to come up for air and see what's going on around me.
You said this: "At the end of the day we are ALL terminal... we've been terminal since the day we were born."
Exactly. Not to mention, tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. Our lives are but a whiff of smoke in the grand scheme of things. *All* of our lives.
This reminds me of a poem I first discovered when I was 16. It speaks about life, mortality, nature, and other unavoidable truths. The author wrote it when he was about 17. I remember being amazed by how deep the poem was. I mean, most 17-year-olds aren't so well advanced, but this kid was very wise for his age.
It was first published around 1817. The poem is called Thanatopsis and the author was William Cullen Bryant.
Regarding your scans, I can't begin to tell you how much your words mean to me, Kat. I admire your strength and wherewithal. And your insightfulness. Please keep it coming.
As always, you know you're in my heart. <3
I will be looking up that poem... you can never have to much wisdom. :) I will continue to pour out my own wisdom... whether it's wanted or not... **wink wink**
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